Letter to a Stranger
Updated: Sep 5, 2020
Love is a mysterious feeling, it can be beautiful and evil at the same time, a sweet-heart and a heart breaker, excitement or some kind of reconcilement. It always feels energetic and active at first but slowly it shall too fade. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t fully comprehend it. True love is too hard to find, but no matter what everyone will get to experience it, and only some will get to keep it. Maybe one day I will, until then, Espero.
Now, this letter is to you, a Stranger, you who had come and gone in my life without any warning. I hope I have done justice to the time you have been here.
I really never knew who you were then and who you are now. I just hope you are better than me then and now, and also where ever you are. Even if you were one foot away physically, I would say we were light years apart in every other way. Maybe that is why I never really knew you.
Have we ever talked, we should have, maybe we would have connected in some way or maybe not, I will never know. Some say we did, but I have no memory of our conversation, or maybe that I never tried to. Was I scared? Yes, No, I really don’t know, but you would make it all tensed, anxious, easy, confusing, I really never understood. Did I really want to talk? Guess I still won’t know.
We might be like magnets I suppose, we would repel every time we tried to get close. I didn’t know why, maybe I never really tried changing those sides. If I did, then maybe, we would have, still, I will never know.
But one day that all changed or so I thought, you spoke and I listened. I spoke but nothing made sense, but you still attended. I wasn’t scared because you see I wasn’t in my right mind. But now I am free.
What happened after was that, was I just got thrown, thrown so far and so hard that I was now more than just a few light-years apart. I wasn’t sad but I knew this was really a bad thing but again I didn’t stop because I wasn’t in my right mind, so I kept coming back, again and again. Each time I was thrown double the distance I was thrown the time before.
Did I feel bad? Like I said I wasn’t in my right mind. But this feeling made me desperate. ‘This’ wasn’t you, it was that feeling. I didn’t notice that. Maybe I should have.
Finally, we happened, but that lasted only for a shake. Because now that hit you, ‘we’ will never work. So you became wiser and left. I was still dumb then. You became a Stranger to me even more now than before.
I had fallen out of love, I couldn’t accept it, and my mind was in constant rejection. For a week I felt numb. Sad? No. Why? I didn’t know. Slowly I started accepting it and then came the tears. I cried but only for a minute, a small grievance for what was dead.
In a break-up, first comes the rejection, then comes the depression, and finally the solution. Move On child.
Stranger, you gave me strange feelings and hopes. A strange sense of future. A strange understanding of me. Life would have been different without your presence, Stranger. Good or bad that I will never know. And I really don’t want to.
Like it is said, “If I had to do it all over again I will and without a change”.
With time I forget what your face and smell and voice were like, but I am not reminding myself of you Stranger, not now and not anymore.
But everyone after you Stranger, was just a distraction. Distraction from an agonizing pain deep inside.
Even if my history were to be written in so many different ways. Stranger, our time will still be there, unchanged, and still strange. Odd why some people meet anyways.
This was all just my mind’s game. It and its stupid emotions.
So see you, Stranger, in the next life, or so I shall hope.
Avec des sourires vôtre vraiment.
By Raphael Khaleel